Female masturbation: how to masturbate for more pleasure?

In our third chapter of the Pluriel.le.s videos, it is the - vast - subject of masturbation that is addressed, always with testimonies from women of all ages and from all backgrounds. Through these testimonies, we will begin by defining what masturbation is and the different practices it covers, the guilt that is still attached to it, but also some advice for taking advantage of its incredible benefits on our lives and our emancipation.

“Touching yourself isn’t just self-penetration”

Female masturbation: what are we talking about?

First of all, let's remember what masturbation is: masturbation defines a practice aimed at obtaining pleasure.

Female masturbation, far from being limited to penetration , therefore consists of doing good to ourselves, alone or with others, thanks to the genitals and erogenous zones of our body and in particular the clitoris, but not only that.

As Laurène Dorléac reminds us in the 2nd episode of Pluriel.le.s , the clitoris has more than 8000 nerve endings, which makes it a sensory bomb when stimulated, but the breasts and the groin are also erogenous zones. which allow us to give ourselves pleasure.

Choosing the right sex toy for masturbating

Touching yourself, humping (which consists of using, for example, a cushion or an armrest), the shower head (Womanizer even creates a shower head that also acts as a clitoral masturbator!) has even revisited it to make it an object of pleasure), clitoris stimulators are all ways of increasing pleasure, in particular by stimulating the clitoral area.

Clitoral stimulation can obviously (and even often) be supplemented by vaginal penetration, using our fingers or with a sex toy. We cover all of this in detail in this article (in collaboration with the lingerie brand Ysé), but here is the basics of how vibrators work:

• External so-called clitoral stimulators : among them you have two types: classic vibrators and the famous “clitoris vacuum cleaners” invented by Womanizer whose pulsed air technology takes you to the 7th heaven until you reach orgasm in a few seconds. Our favorites are the SILA from Lelo if you are looking for the best, the Aura or the Ona for smaller budgets. If you are more of a vibro team then the Dune is just perfect!

• Internal sex toys: like the traditional dildo, with or without a vibrator. Discover the OG from Womanizer , the only sex toy that stimulates the G zone with pulsed air technology. To start with a small budget you can test the tennis coach or the G-spot vibrator from the Maude brand .

• DOUBLE stimulators that caress the clitoris and vagina at the same time → Spoiler, it's crazy that can make you feel several orgasms in a row! Discover the essential Coco from the French brand Puissante , our best-seller or its double stimulation vibrating sidekick the Chouchou .

We also don't forget intimate lubricants for more glide ;)

“Actually, we can do things for ourselves, there’s no shame in that”

“I was lucky, my mother never told me that it wasn’t normal, that I shouldn’t do that”

Female masturbation and guilt

Yes, female pleasure and even more so female masturbation remains a taboo subject and carries guilt or shame for many women.

- First of all, as we mentioned in our article “Why masturbate?” , let us remember that in the Middle Ages, masturbation in the broad sense was considered a deviant practice and that beyond this period, all religions (except Buddhism) condemned or made masturbation guilty, which does not allow the reproduction . Things have changed since then - thank God, it's true to say so - but it's interesting to remember where we started from to understand what is playing out in our little heads today and why still too much of women feel guilty about masturbating their erogenous zones.

- Let us add to this that masturbation is generally better “accepted” among little boys than among little girls, which in adulthood can hinder us in the discovery of our body, our desire, our intimate happiness. The role of parents is therefore crucial in the future development of young children (yet another good reason to make these poor parents feel guilty!!). A little girl who is repressed when she masturbates will tend to understand that seeking pleasure is guilty... Is it difficult to talk about it with your children? Discover Julia Pietri's wonderful books " The Little Guide to the Sexual Pussy " which kindly explains intimacy to girls between 4 and 16 years old.

- Is this normal, Doctor? Beyond masturbation as such, it is often the question of frequency that can cause guilt. Is it normal to masturbate several times a week? Day ? In this area, the only limit is that of compulsion. This means that as long as you do yourself good and masturbation doesn't distract you from what's important to you, EVERYTHING IS FINE !! We are not deviant because one Sunday in November under our duvet, we played our sex toy .

We recap : first of all, we start from afar in terms of masturbation: between medieval condemnation and religious guilt, the path to intimate pleasure was not necessarily clear-cut. For a long time, female pleasure, more than male pleasure, carries guilt. Because in this area too, we are not yet completely equal, even if things are progressing for our greatest…. pleasure ;).

“It allowed me to understand what I liked quite quickly”

The benefits of female masturbation

Masturbating is a fabulous practice for a thousand reasons, the first being that it allows us to develop:

1. BETTER KNOWLEDGE OF OURSELVES:

First from an anatomical point of view - knowing better all the parts of our body and in particular the genitals - but also from a psychological point of view - what excites us, gives us pleasure, makes us GOOD.

A study conducted by Eve Appeal in 2016 revealed that a large number of women did not know how to identify their vagina (44%) or their vulva (60%) on an anatomical drawing… However, “When it comes to sexuality, as in well other things, knowledge is power”. So let's start by defining a vulva: these are the external genitalia, namely the internal and external lips, the clitoris , its hood, the urethral meatus, the vaginal orifice and the anus.

Current point: Recent years have seen the development of Vulva Mapping which, as its name indicates (mapping of the vulva) refers to the fact of studying this anatomy, of learning to know it and more recently of representing it. Several techniques for this; we arm ourselves with a mirror and our fingers and explore if we feel comfortable doing so, otherwise we take advantage of educational videos (like the first video in the Climax series “the vulva and its infinite diversities” ), or the numerous explanatory diagrams and testimonials contained in Julia Pietri's Little Guide to Female Masturbation . For the most adventurous, know that there are collective self-exploration workshops which allow you to know how your cycle and your body work, which organs are used for what and where they are placed and then to explore (in isolation) your body. own anatomy.

I offer it to myself

2. BETTER SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH OUR PARTNER:

• We put less pressure on ourselves to enjoy with our partner: by giving ourselves pleasure, we place less expectation on our partner to feel pleasure and enjoyment. This greatly liberates relationships and allows for the development of an often richer intimacy.

• We develop our intimacy with our partner through mutual caresses. This practice is a sexual practice in its own right (understand that it does not serve as foreplay) and turns out to be a real asset for long distance relationships as well as an excellent way to show your partner what gives us pleasure. pleasure and ultimately, to strengthen your relationship, by touching each other in front of the other, causing your excitement .

3. OVERALL WELL-BEING:

Masturbation, through the pleasure it provides, is absolutely essential to a healthy and balanced life, because it allows us to regulate our emotions, to relax, to sleep better by taking time for ourselves.

“Should be prescribed”

Orgasm, caresses and sex toys: is stimulating oneself a militant act?

Just like a session of sport, reading, massage…. Why not consider the discovery and deepening of our pleasure as an integral part of our personal development?

From this angle, no more guilt (firstly). Two we take charge of our sexual and overall well-being... We do ourselves a service, and even more so those we love and who love us. And this is where we touch on a big subject: our responsibility to take charge of our pleasure, our sexual and intimate fulfillment...just like men.

Current activism update:

- By dedicating a book to female masturbation “ The Little Guide to Female Masturbation ” Julia Pietri offers us a little gem of education and guilt-freeing of female pleasure but also, and above all, a true manifesto for male equality and women in matters of sexual pleasure.

- If you haven't heard of it yet: Kama , an app entirely dedicated to sexual pleasure and its practice, places Pleasure with a capital P, in all its forms, at the heart of our health and our rights the most fundamental (and it's GOOD to hear it). You will find videos that are both extremely specific and fun, guided meditations and challenges. Everything to build a real routine for developing our knowledge of ourselves and our pleasure. To discover, even if you have to play the game a little.

Some tips for more fun

To reconnect with your body, your pleasure, your well-being

• A good dose of guilt relief : now that we have understood where these parasitic ideas came from, we realize that our body, like our desire and our pleasure, belong to us. Exit the guilt then.

• A good dose of curiosity , starting with one's own anatomy. We do not hesitate to explore our own vulva, understand its mechanisms and discover all the techniques available to give ourselves pleasure.

A jumble (and not exhaustive) of the few tools mentioned:

• We watch the Climax educational videos and the interview with Laurène Dorléac on the subject

• We take a nice mirror to understand our vulva

• We read the Little Guide to Female Masturbation by Julia Piétri

• We treat ourselves to a sex toy! The Womanizer , the SILA , the Coco or we look at all the other clitoral stimulators which are quite simply orgasmic bombs!

• We read our favorite article from Internet users: vibrators for beginners
• The Kama app, the app to integrate the discovery of our sexual happiness into a global approach to well-being (but in English only, my dears)

• How much activism do you want? Reclaiming our bodies and our sexual well-being means participating more broadly in putting men and women back on an equal footing.

• And if you feel the need, consult a sexologist for specific, tailor-made follow-up on this subject.

So on your fingers, ready... (you understood the joke)