Pregnancy and sexuality: everything there is to know, without taboo!

Pregnancy is an intense period of upheaval, for our body, in our body, in our mind. It is therefore not surprising that upheavals occur during these nine months and in particular, sexuality. If pregnancy and sexuality are still a rather taboo subject, the fact remains that many of you ask us about your libido while pregnant, about authorized practices, the risks... As a concept store dedicated to women's intimacy created by women, Gapianne believes that its mission goes further: we wish to move forward with you on these questions and answer you without taboo. Together, we take stock of everything there is to know on the subject of pregnancy and sexuality. ♥️

What to remember

• There are no rules regarding sexuality during pregnancy unless expressly contraindicated by your doctor.
• Pregnancy affects libido and sexuality because it transforms the body, causes pain, and disrupts hormones and minds.
• Libido and sexuality may evolve differently throughout pregnancy
• It is possible to have sexuality as a couple or alone during pregnancy.
• Certain situations and symptoms may be contrary to the practice of sexuality during pregnancy: do not hesitate to consult if you have any doubts.

How pregnancy influences libido and sexuality

During pregnancy , due to the effects of hormones, the growing unborn baby, and the increasing anticipation, the body and mind of expectant mothers change. They are disrupted in many ways, which inevitably influences sexual desire and sexuality .

Pregnancy changes the appearance of the body

The first aspect that impacts sexuality during pregnancy is the fact that pregnancy constantly changes the body of pregnant people : abdominal volume changes, breasts grow, the person gains weight. All of this can have an impact on the image you have of yourself (complexes) but also on the way you can move.

Because sexuality and the body are strongly linked , sexuality can be disrupted by these changes and need to be adjusted: new positions, the need to be in the dark out of modesty, etc.

Pregnancy causes pain and discomfort

Pregnancy also affects libido and sexuality because it can cause discomfort and pain during intercourse . Headache, breast tenderness during pregnancy, leg pain during pregnancy, stomach tightness, nausea, extreme fatigue... linked to physical and hormonal changes, the symptoms during pregnancy are unpleasant during this period. In addition, they can be numerous and their intensity and occurrence depend on the woman and the trimester. And they can be particularly harmful for the libido! Who wants to make love with a severe migraine or breasts that cannot be touched?

The pain caused by pregnancy thus tends to limit libido and can, in certain cases, modify sexuality, to avoid a position that hurts, for example.

Pregnancy sends hormones into overdrive

While female sex hormones are a constant rollercoaster throughout the lives of menstruating people, pregnancy is the culmination of this hormonal madness. During this time, estrogen and progesterone go wild, and their fluctuating levels affect libido and mood. While your libido can be through the roof or, on the contrary, rock bottom, your mood can alternate between irritability, high emotionality, and depressive episodes. All in the same day: perfect. 👌

Hormonal fluctuations related to pregnancy have a significant impact on libido , which can either heighten or completely destroy it. Similarly, the resulting mood swings can also tend to lower libido.

Future motherhood is a mind-bending experience

Finally, the impending motherhood is the last aspect of pregnancy that impacts libido and sexuality. As pregnant people, unlike the person with whom they conceive their child, you feel the impending arrival of the baby within yourselves: it is possible that you and your partner are no longer completely in the same phase, creating dissensions. This upsets your mind, creates expectations, changes the relationship as a couple, creates obligations and new constraints as well. The couple is changed, the libido is inevitably impacted, increased or on the contrary very reduced.

The evolution of libido during pregnancy

While pregnancy is a time of many physical, hormonal, and emotional changes, it's important to remember that these changes are not random! They are generally linked to stages of pregnancy, and their changes follow and punctuate the growth of the baby in your body. This is why we can observe trends in the evolution of libido during pregnancy.

♥️ A quick disclaimer here: While there are some big trends, there are no rules when it comes to libido and sexuality—this also applies to pregnancy. We're all different. It's all about you, your desire, and your body.

Libido in the first trimester

During the first trimester of pregnancy, the majority of pregnant women experience an overall decrease in sexual desire.

Indeed, fatigue, nausea and hormonal changes in the first trimester can decrease interest in sexual activity.

Furthermore, the first trimester is marked by very high emotional sensitivity: hormonal fluctuations can make some women more sensitive or emotionally vulnerable, which can also influence their sexual desire.

Libido in the second trimester

The second trimester is often when pregnant women feel their best, with a gradual and positive adjustment to their pregnancy. The nausea and fatigue of the first trimester fade for most women, giving them renewed energy.

As a result, the second trimester most often marks an increase in sexual desire . Of course, the new energy and improvement of first trimester symptoms have an impact, but so does the increased blood circulation in the pelvic area, which can increase sensitivity and sexual pleasure.

Libido in the third trimester

In the third trimester, as the due date approaches, it is common for pregnant women to experience a general decrease in their sexual desire.

This is largely due to the significant changes in their bodies (this is the period when the belly grows the most and the fastest) which makes it difficult to find comfortable positions. The weariness of pregnancy, as well as the anxiety of childbirth, which affects some women at the end of pregnancy, can also explain this decrease.

As always when it comes to female intimacy, there is no hard and fast rule: many women report a rise in their libido in the third trimester, finding comfort and well-being in intimacy and sexuality. This may also be explained by the fact that their hormones affect their libido differently.

Sex while pregnant? It's possible!

Now let's get into the taboo subject: yes, it is possible to have sex while pregnant and enjoy it. How, in which positions? And masturbation? Here are our recommendations for better living your sexuality while pregnant. ♥️

Practicing sexuality as a pregnant couple

Contrary to popular belief, contraindications to sexual activity during pregnancy are very limited. They are generally circumstantial, linked to issues that arise during your pregnancy. Otherwise, the only limits are your body, your desires, and those of your partner!

Penetration during pregnancy is not a problem, regardless of the trimester: firstly, your partner is not at risk of hurting the fetus. Secondly, the mucus plug that forms at the entrance to the uterus during pregnancy protects the future baby from sperm and infections. If this bothers you or your partner, however, certain sexual positions can help alleviate this sensation. Furthermore, sex is not limited to vaginal penetration: other practices can allow you to spend sweet moments.

Regarding the preferred sexual positions, it all depends mainly on your comfort and that of your partner, but you also need to use a little common sense! ;) At the end of pregnancy, when your belly is quite large, the missionary position and all positions that involve your belly being squashed are not recommended to protect the baby and avoid hurting yourself. The spoon position is often recommended, which allows the mother-to-be to be on her side: it limits the pain and discomfort associated with her large belly.

🌈 During pregnancy, lubricating your vagina can be complicated, especially due to hormonal fluctuations, this is one of the symptoms of intimate dryness . In case of intimate dryness , do not hesitate to opt for lubricant. We prefer the water-based lubricant from the My Lubie brand because it has the advantage of being natural and composed largely of water. It is compatible with pregnancy.

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Also read: Comparison of the best lubricants >

What about masturbation?

Just as having sex with a partner is not dangerous for the baby, masturbation is also not dangerous during pregnancy . Whether alone or with a partner, it poses no danger to the unborn child, whether there is penetration or not.

🌈 Does penetration scare you/make you uncomfortable despite everything? What if you took advantage of your pregnancy to discover non-penetrative sex toys, mainly focused on clitoral pleasure? At Gapianne, we recommend Ona: it's a clitoral stimulator from the Bouche-bée brand that combines two actions: a suction/blowing game and vibrations. Everything you need to stimulate the clitoris without penetration!

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What are the situations in which sexual relations should be avoided?

There are a few situations in which your healthcare provider may advise you against vaginal sex or other forms of penetrative sexual activity. They include:

• You have blood or amniotic fluid loss;
• You gave birth prematurely or had preterm labor in a previous pregnancy. The pleasure hormone—oxytocin—released during orgasm triggers uterine contractions that can trigger preterm labor. You may therefore be asked to avoid sexual activity after a certain number of weeks of amenorrhea.
• The membranes surrounding the baby are ruptured or the mucus plug has fallen out: vaginal intercourse should be avoided because it increases the risk of infection.
• The placenta is positioned too low. In this situation, sexual practices with vaginal penetration can cause significant bleeding and trigger premature labor: it will therefore be necessary to avoid them.
• You are pregnant with twins or more: since multiple pregnancies can be more risky, your doctor may suggest that you stop having sex sooner.
• Your doctor has asked you to rest from all activities / you are bedridden. This usually includes taking a break from sexual activity—but don't hesitate to ask if this hasn't been specified.

Final points of vigilance for practicing sexuality during pregnancy

Generally speaking, and as always when we discuss health-related issues here, we can only recommend that you seek the advice of the healthcare professional who is treating you. If you have the green light for sexual activity, then GO! You have nothing to fear! Here are the latest points to remember for a fulfilling, guilt-free sexuality!

1. Don't force yourself: During pregnancy, as in everyday life, listen to your body, your desires, and do what you want! For some women, pregnancy is a sexual fireworks display, for others, sex is not on their mind: there is no model and even less of a goal. There is only one rule: listen to yourself. ♥️
2. Protect yourself in case of unsafe sex: If you have unsafe sex during pregnancy, protect yourself with a condom. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV, or syphilis are highly dangerous for your baby. And if you haven't used protection and are worried about infection, talk to your doctor or midwife.
3. Avoid uncomfortable sexual positions and pain: Generally speaking, we recommend that you stop practicing if you feel discomfort, pain, or if you start bleeding.
4. Communicating with your partner: Pregnancy is a special time for you, but also for your partner. They may be afraid of hurting you and the baby, be embarrassed, excited, or, on the contrary, uncomfortable with your changing body... this is normal. It is important to protect your relationship and your sexuality, and this involves communication.
5. Consult your healthcare professional: If you have any doubts about what you can or cannot do, do not hesitate to speak to your healthcare professional.

Benefits of a fulfilling sexuality during pregnancy

When we talk about sexuality and pregnancy, it's normal to highlight the risks associated with this practice... but what about the benefits of a fulfilling sexuality during pregnancy? Let's talk about it!

Feels good ♥️

Sex feels good —that's why we enjoy it! The hormones released during sex and orgasm, the pleasure that comes from sex: whether you're pregnant or not, you feel it and enjoy it.

Brings the couple closer together

For many couples, sexual activity as a couple is a time of sharing, intimacy, and complicity. If this is the case for you, then continuing to have sex during pregnancy seems essential to bonding as a couple and, simply, sharing good times. In addition to these beautiful moments, oxytocin—the hormone of attachment and love—acts like a glue between you.

Relieves minor pains

The hormones produced by the body during sexual activity, whether as a couple or alone, can tend to alleviate the minor aches and pains you feel. Thanks to endorphins, oxytocin, and dopamine for their beneficial effects! Stomach aches, chest pains... these can be alleviated by sexual activity, whether you reach orgasm or not!

Helps you fall asleep

Do you suffer from insomnia during pregnancy due to hormonal fluctuations and associated minor aches and pains? Having sex can help! The endorphins released during sex and orgasm make it easier to fall asleep.

Relieves stress

One last good reason to make love during your pregnancy (if you want to, of course!): endorphins also have a de-stressing power! In this potentially very stressful period, it can't do you any harm! ;)

Myths and facts about pregnancy and sexuality

Let's finish this article on pregnancy and sexuality by tackling all the prejudices/clichés that we may naturally have! Some are true, others completely false: let's take the time to answer them together!

Can sex hurt the baby?

Barring very specific circumstances and health issues (we discussed these a little earlier), sex cannot harm the baby. First, your partner's penis cannot touch your baby. Second, the uterus and amniotic membranes surround and protect the baby. Finally, the mucus plug prevents bacteria and sperm from entering the uterus, protecting the baby from infections.

Does sexual desire systematically decrease during pregnancy?

There are no rules when it comes to intimacy: for some pregnant women, sexual desire is crazy throughout the entire pregnancy, for others, it's at its lowest. Generally, the second trimester is the peak of sexual desire, but there's no need to worry if that's not what you're feeling.

Do all pregnant women experience an increase in libido?

As mentioned above: there is no rule, let alone unanimity. For some pregnant women, libido explodes throughout the pregnancy, while others will not have any at all. There are many reasons for these disparities. Generally, the second trimester is when pregnant women have the highest libido, but you may experience something completely different.

Can sex during pregnancy cause premature labor?

Yes, in very specific cases. There are very few contraindications to sexual activity during pregnancy, and generally, sex does not cause premature labor. However, if you have already had a premature labor or if your placenta is very low, your doctor may recommend that you do not have sexual intercourse. Penetration and uterine contractions related to orgasm can indeed lead to premature labor. If you have any concerns about this, do not hesitate to speak with your doctor.

Is it normal to feel anxious about sex during pregnancy?

It's completely normal to feel anxious about sex during pregnancy—after all, it's completely normal to feel anxious during pregnancy, period 😉. Even more so, both you and your partner may be feeling stressed. It's important to talk about it and test your boundaries.

Is penetration the only option for couples during pregnancy?

No. Vaginal penetration is by no means the only option for sharing a moment of sexual pleasure during pregnancy. Pregnancy is even an opportunity to experiment with other sexual practices and diversify your practices to have fun in other ways. For example, we're thinking of non-penetrative sex toys, scenarios/role-playing, and so on!

Are orgasms during pregnancy dangerous for the baby?

Orgasms during pregnancy are generally not dangerous for the baby. The main contraindication is that uterine contractions during orgasm can trigger labor. If you are at risk of premature labor, your doctor may recommend that you avoid sexual activity.

Can you use lubricants during pregnancy?

Yes, it is absolutely possible to use lubricants during pregnancy: the mucus plug present during pregnancy at the entrance to your uterus is there to prevent bacteria/products/sperm from coming into contact with the baby. However, we recommend that you choose a lubricant that is compatible with pregnancy and avoid products containing CBD.

🌈 At Gapianne, we love My Lubie's water-based lubricant because it has the advantage of being natural and composed largely of water. It is compatible with pregnancy.

I want this lubricant >

Can you use sex toys during pregnancy?

Yes, it's totally safe to use sex toys during pregnancy—unless your doctor has advised you to rest and not have sex or orgasms (to prevent premature labor, for example). Any sex toys you normally use are safe to use during pregnancy. However, if penetration makes you uncomfortable, you can definitely consider non-penetrative sex toys that focus on clitoral pleasure.

🌈 On our e-shop, we have selected for you the Lelo pulsating air clitoral vibrator . With its very wide head, it adapts to all anatomies and its body offers 8 levels of vibrating wave intensity.

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Are there any sex positions to avoid during pregnancy?

There are no sex positions that are forbidden or to be avoided during pregnancy ; it all depends on your comfort level. For example, the missionary position, which involves your partner on top of you, may become uncomfortable as your belly grows—your partner may also be uncomfortable squashing the baby. In this case, adapt this position or change it to find one that works for you.

How late can I have sex during pregnancy?

Again, there is no rule. To speed up the onset of labor, sexual activity may be recommended a few days before the due date, for example, as orgasm can trigger uterine contractions. Also, everything will depend on you, your sensations, your partner, and your doctor's advice based on your medical situation.

Except in special medical cases, identified and discussed with your doctor, sexuality during pregnancy , as at all times in life, depends mainly on you, your desires and those of your partner. It is normal for your libido to evolve throughout pregnancy , with hormonal fluctuations, physical changes, symptoms and emotions that you experience. The key is communication and exchange with your partner.