How to get over postpartum depression?

Mental and physical fatigue, emotional and hormonal upheaval, stress, family pressures and influences, disruption of the couple and each person's roles, work stoppage... All the conditions are combined for the postpartum period to represent a major upheaval. And for some new mothers, and perhaps you if you're reading these lines, it's too much of an upheaval. Emotions mix and fade, stress takes over, and fatigue takes over: everything seems gray, empty, uninteresting, exhausting. You may be one of the 10 to 20% of new mothers affected by postpartum depression. What it is, how to diagnose it, and above all, how to get out of it: we talk about it in this article.

Understanding Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression is a mental health disorder that affects between 10 and 20% of new mothers. According to the 2021 National Perinatal Survey, 1 in 20 women experience suicidal thoughts within two months of giving birth.

This disorder combines symptoms of depression—intense, unexplained sadness, emotional dullness, sleep disturbances, negative beliefs and feelings of guilt, chronic stress and anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts—and thoughts specific to being a new mother—loss of interest in the infant, devaluation of her maternal skills.

Postpartum depression usually appears after the sixth day and to be classified as “postpartum” it must occur before the sixth week postpartum.

✋ Young fathers can also suffer from postpartum depression. It is estimated that 8% of men are affected by this type of depression. In this article, we have mainly dealt with postpartum depression in mothers because Gapianne specializes primarily in women's issues, but you will find a specific section dedicated to postpartum depression in young fathers.

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What are the causes and risk factors?

As with most mental health disorders, the causes are multifactorial. Several risk factors for developing postpartum depression have been identified. They fall into four categories: psychiatric, socioeconomic, obstetric, and pathological factors.

Psychiatric factors

The first type of factors that can influence and lead to postpartum depression are psychiatric factors. These include all the different mental health issues that preceded childbirth.

• Personal history of postpartum depression: If you have already had postpartum depression after the birth of one child, you are more likely to develop postpartum depression after the birth of another child;
• Mood disturbances: If you experience mood disturbances—variability, instability, irritability—especially around the time of your premenstrual syndrome, you are more likely to develop postpartum depression;
• Personal or family psychiatric history: If you, or someone in your family, has experienced or is a carrier of psychiatric disorders, you are more likely to be affected by postpartum depression. This is especially true if you experienced a depressive episode or anxiety disorders during your pregnancy;
• Psychotrauma related to childbirth: if you were shocked / injured / assaulted during your childbirth (gynecological violence, unwanted emergency caesarean section, hemorrhage, childbirth that does not go as planned , etc.), you are more likely to develop postpartum depression. It is estimated that approximately 4 to 6% of women may experience post-traumatic stress disorder after a difficult childbirth and 20% experience some symptoms of post-traumatic stress causing them distress;
• Negative events during pregnancy: If you have experienced a family bereavement, a breakup with a friend or partner, or other difficult events during pregnancy, you may experience emotional backlash after pregnancy and be affected by postpartum depression;
• Perinatal bereavement: If you have experienced perinatal bereavement—during this pregnancy or a previous one—you are more likely to be affected by postpartum depression. Women who have given birth to a stillborn baby are at increased risk of depression in the three years following perinatal bereavement ;
• Postpartum depression in the father: If your partner is also experiencing postpartum depression when your child is born (yes, fathers can also be affected by postpartum depression, we'll talk about that below), there's a greater risk that you will be affected as well. This is partly due to the lack of support and listening that can result from these disorders.

Socio-economic factors

The second type of factors that can affect your mental health and lead to postpartum depression are socioeconomic factors. These include factors external to yourself, related to the environment in which you live.

• Marital and family conflicts: a climate of conflict within the couple (tensions in the couple, intra-marital violence, etc.) or within the family (family pressures, presence or absence of families) can be the source of postpartum depression;
• Social and family isolation: isolation (single mother, family distance, lack of support from partner and family, spouse working remotely, FOMO, difficulty continuing previous social life with a young child, etc.) can also increase the risk of postpartum depression;
• Social insecurity: Money doesn't buy happiness, but running out of it can be difficult, especially with a small baby who needs the best and has significant needs. Social and financial insecurity is also a risk factor for postpartum depression;
• Uncertain desire for a child, forced pregnancy, and regrets: If you had doubts about having a child, its arrival may bring these doubts back to the forefront. You may feel trapped, stuck. The risks of postpartum depression are greater in this situation.

Obstetric factors

The third type of risk factor is obstetrical – in other words, related to the pregnancy itself and its progress.

• Unwanted pregnancy, denial of pregnancy: having carried an unwanted pregnancy to term (due to religious, moral, family, societal pressure or due to denial of pregnancy) is a significant risk factor for developing depression following the birth of a baby;
• Primiparity: Being pregnant and giving birth to your first child increases the risk of developing postpartum depression. This may be explained by the upheavals in the couple and in life induced by the arrival of a newborn;
• Obstetric history: death in utero, fetal malformation, termination of pregnancy, premature birth, etc. are all unfortunate events that can have repercussions on your mental health after childbirth;
• Pathological pregnancy: if your pregnancy has gone badly (threat of premature delivery, high blood pressure, intrauterine growth retardation, gestational diabetes, etc.), you may be at greater risk of postpartum depression;
• Neonatal morbidities: if you have experienced the death of a child before birth (parents who have experienced this type of grief are called marange and parange), this event can have consequences later, when another child is born;
• Maternal age at the extremes of fertility periods: women who became mothers very early (teenage mothers) and those who became mothers late (over forty years old) are more likely to develop depression in the period following childbirth.

Pathological factors

The fourth and final type of factors that can affect and impact your risk of developing depression after the birth of a baby are pathological factors. In other words, illnesses that can affect your mental health after childbirth.

• Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS): Hormonal imbalances associated with PCOS appear to increase the risk of mood disorders such as postpartum depression. Women with PCOS are also at greater risk of psychological stress. To better understand the implications of this condition on pregnancy and the postpartum period, read our article on PCOS and pregnancy, as well as our articles on PCOS diagnosis and PCOS treatment .

Know how to identify the symptoms of early postpartum depression

To help you identify postpartum depression and prevent it from taking hold, we present the symptoms of this mental health disorder and other psychiatric disorders related to the postpartum period in turn.

Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

Here are 17 symptoms of postpartum depression that should alert you. If you notice any of these symptoms in yourself or a loved one, don't hesitate to consult a healthcare professional.

1. Constant physical and mental fatigue: Is your postpartum fatigue “normal”? Are you able to get to sleep or are you prone to postpartum insomnia ?
2. Increasing irritability
3. Deep sadness , sometimes unexplained
4. Uncontrollable crying
5. Strong feeling of guilt
6. Lack of self-confidence , constant devaluation, feeling of not being capable, impression of being overwhelmed (which can lead to guilt, etc.)
7. Chronic anxiety about your baby
8. Difficulties interacting with your baby, feeling of helplessness: he doesn't understand you, that you don't understand him
9. Indifference to your baby , or even difficulty feeling love for him
10. Loss of interest in your favorite activities , loss of interest in everything
11. Eating disorders (ED), particularly motivated by the fear of gaining weight or maintaining pregnancy weight;
12. Lack of libido
13. Persistent pessimism
14. Progressive social isolation , motivated by the feeling of being alone and misunderstood, and by the fear of abandoning one's child
15. Perpetual ruminations
16. ⚠️ Suicidal thoughts: If you experience these types of thoughts, contact your doctor, psychologist, or the psychiatric emergency room in your area. They will be able to support you and help you through this time.

If these symptoms resonate with some of you and you experience them beyond twenty days (the "normal" timeframe for baby blues linked to hormonal fluctuations), you may be suffering from postpartum depression. Talk to a healthcare professional.

Other postpartum mental health disorders

While postpartum depression is a psychiatric disorder associated with the postpartum period, it's not the only one. To help you identify it, here are two other disorders associated with this period: the baby blues and psychotic episodes.

Baby blues or postpartum depression

The baby blues affect a majority of new mothers. This period describes the few days following childbirth during which the new mother's mood is on edge: she cries "for nothing," feels unexplained peaks of joy and sadness and switches from one to the other without transition, feels overwhelmed...

Typically caused by the significant hormonal fluctuations surrounding the end of pregnancy and the fatigue of childbirth, the baby blues can last from a few hours to a few days. Symptoms usually resolve on their own. If symptoms last more than two weeks, it may be postpartum depression.

So, baby blues and postpartum depression are essentially similar: what differentiates them is, above all, the duration of postpartum depression compared to baby blues.

Beyond Postpartum Depression: The Psychotic Episode

Another psychiatric disorder following pregnancy has unfortunately been brought to light by several serious news stories: the psychotic episode.

Its symptoms are threefold: temporal-spatial disorientation , delusional activity essentially centered on the pregnancy (denial of pregnancy) or on the child (negation of the child, extraordinary filiation, etc.) and a great fluctuation of mood .

Psychotic disorder most often occurs within four weeks of giving birth (with a peak frequency at ten days) in women with no psychiatric problems prior to pregnancy. It is more likely to occur in women who have already had a psychotic episode during a previous pregnancy. This disorder is rare: it affects 1 to 2 women who give birth in 1,000.

The occurrence of a psychotic episode is a psychiatric emergency. Indeed, the risk of suicide or infanticide is significant.

What impact on the mother and baby?

Given the various symptoms of postpartum depression, it obviously has an impact on the quality of life of the new mother, her relationship, and even on her child(ren). It can indeed alter the mother-baby bond and thus affect the healthy development of the baby.

However, children do not necessarily suffer from their mother's postpartum depression because some mothers still manage to remain "functional" in their role as mothers and thus take care of their child(ren) despite the illness. Postpartum depression is therefore not synonymous with child abuse.

In the most extreme cases, postpartum depression can lead to suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts and suicide, or even infanticide.

How to prevent depression?

Given the multitude of factors that cause postpartum depression, it is difficult to offer a miracle solution to prevent this disorder. Indeed, too many factors are not directly under your control to add this mental and psychological burden. Keep this in mind: you are in no way responsible for your depression (postpartum or not) ❤️

Consult a doctor

That being said, the best solution to prevent depression and limit its impact on your life, your relationship and your baby is to talk about it as soon as you identify it and feel able to. Talk about it to a health professional, your family and/or your friend. The more you avoid hiding behind the famous “I have everything to be happy” and quickly agree to ask for help , the more you will prevent depression from setting in and isolating you.

Did you know? To better support new mothers in the weeks following birth, a postnatal interview is routinely offered. It can be conducted by a midwife or doctor between the fourth and eighth week after delivery.

If the symptoms listed above resonate with you and you are hesitant to contact someone, we advise you not to hesitate any longer: contact your doctor, your midwife or a mental health professional . Share your doubts with them: they will be able to take care of you and support you.

What solutions and treatments?

For all the reasons mentioned above – symptoms and impact on the life of the mother, the couple and the child – it is essential to provide medical responses and treatments for your postpartum depression.

Consult a doctor

The first thing to do, as we emphasized just before, is to discuss your feelings and difficulties with a doctor. Your doctor is fully capable of diagnosing postpartum depression, assessing its intensity and danger, and providing initial treatment. He or she may, if necessary, refer you to one of his or her psychologist or psychiatrist colleagues, based on his or her initial assessment.

The diagnosis

Postpartum depression is diagnosed using a questionnaire, with the questions being asked and analyzed by a general practitioner, psychologist, or psychiatrist. Your answers to this questionnaire determine the severity of your depression and the risks you face as a result of it. In addition to establishing a diagnosis, it allows for consideration of the treatments needed to manage your condition.

Treatments

While a healthy lifestyle (sleep well, eat a balanced diet, stay hydrated, and engage in appropriate physical activity) and family support are initial solutions to help you rebuild your life after being diagnosed with postpartum depression, they are not enough.

The treatments and actions most often recommended to support a person affected by postpartum depression are:

• Psychotherapy: Individual therapy, group therapy, or family therapy may be recommended. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is often used to help the individual recognize and change negative thoughts and behaviors that contribute to depression;
• Medications: In some cases, antidepressants may be prescribed to treat postpartum depression. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are often used because of their effectiveness and safety during breastfeeding;
• Infant Care Education and Support: Learning infant care techniques and strategies for managing parenting stress can help improve the mother's overall well-being and reduce symptoms of depression.
• Dietary supplements: Dietary supplements should never be used as a substitute for treatment and should be consulted by a doctor when taken at the same time as treatment to limit drug interactions. Discover all our postpartum dietary supplements .

How to take care of your mental health after giving birth?

The period following the birth of a child, whether it's your first or not, is always a time of upheaval. Emotionally, physically, and in your relationships. Not to mention the shattered schedule and routines. Your entire life is reorganized, and mental health sometimes takes a back seat to everything else, to what's necessary. However, it's essential to take care of your mental health after giving birth. Here are some tips to help you reconnect with yourself, your partner, and your life after giving birth.

Accept to fumble

In the months following childbirth, you will be fumbling. You will be fumbling with your baby (what does he want?, why does he cry?, what does he like?, how do you put on a diaper?), you will be fumbling with your partner (what division, who takes care of what, how?), you will be fumbling with your parenting (what education?,)... not to mention the gaze of others and the judgment you will receive.

That's why our first piece of advice to protect yourself and your mental health would be to accept as quickly as possible that you're not going to be perfect . Your relationship won't be perfect, your spouse won't be perfect, your parenting won't be perfect. And that's okay. You just have to convince yourself 😉

Listen to yourself and follow your rhythm

Whether it's about parenting, relationships, or your own health, the best solution is to listen to yourself. There's no shortage of advice, and there's no shortage of reasons to compare yourself: move at your own pace, according to your intuition and desires. You know what's best for you, your child, and your relationship. Trust yourself.

Join a support group or see a psychologist

Whether or not you're suffering from postpartum depression, joining a support group for new mothers/parents or consulting a psychologist can be an important step in promoting your mental health. It's never too early or too late to start counseling or to talk: it can only do you good and help you anticipate the next obstacles to come.

Sort out the content that hurts you

Social media is ambivalent. A source of inspiration and motivation, it can suddenly become a source of anxiety and guilt.

If certain content is making you feel bad (especially accounts related to current events, appearance (fitness, makeup), and motherhood), don't hesitate to unfollow them and stop following them until you feel better and more at peace with them. There's nothing wrong with devoting your free time to things that make you feel good.

Make time to do what you used to love.

Did you play sports, paint, or go out with friends before pregnancy and the arrival of your baby? We can only recommend that you don't give up these activities after giving birth and the first few months of your child's life. Of course, listen to yourself and your desires—it's not about forcing yourself, and you'll leave your baby when you know the time is right: ask your partner to take care of them or one of your trusted loved ones. But these "me" moments are a good way to reconnect with who you are and who you were before becoming a mother. It's essential to allow you to combine your life as a mother with who you are.

Reclaim your body

In addition to being a special time when you learn a new family balance and meet a new human being, the postpartum period is also synonymous with rediscovering your body. Pregnancy and childbirth have left their mark (extra pounds, scars, pain), and successive waves of hormones have turned everything upside down in their wake. Reclaiming your body can be an important step in your recovery.

• 🌈 We love Talm's nourishing postpartum care and massage oil to offer relaxation and softness to your body. As a bonus: it contains sweet almond oil, which has the property of fading stretch marks;

• 🌈 And for even more hydration, we suggest Talm's postpartum moisturizing balm . It will deeply nourish and moisturize to prevent tight skin!

Make quality time for your family

Family time, with your partner and your baby, is essential for learning to live together. Eating together, bathing together, playing together, going out together: these moments are important for shaping your family ❤️. The better and more enjoyable these moments are, the more enjoyable your motherhood experience will be and the more positive your mental health will be. (And don't pressure yourself if sometimes these moments aren't great: it's okay to be tired sometimes! It will be better tomorrow.)

Make quality time for yourself as a couple

Finally, shared time as a couple is essential. Gradually rediscover the activities you enjoyed doing together, either just the two of you or with your loved ones and friends—going to the movies, playing sports, entertaining, etc. These moments also contribute to the balance of your life and your mental health.

The importance of family support

While postpartum depression isn't solely related to a lack of support from your partner, your family, and your partner's family, their support is a great way to combat the illness. Indeed, the more you know you can rely on them, and the more they show their presence by your side, the faster you'll be able to get your head above water.

How to Help Someone Affected by Postpartum Depression

If you are currently living with someone affected by postpartum depression—whether they are your partner, your daughter, your sister, or your friend—here are some ways to help them:

1. Talk to her: If she hasn't been diagnosed yet but you sense increasing distress, don't hesitate to share your concerns. If she's open about it, suggest that she talk to a healthcare professional (general practitioner, midwife, or psychologist). If she seems more withdrawn, talk to the people around her to get their opinions.
2. Offer your help: cleaning, looking after the baby for a few hours while they take a nap or go to a doctor's appointment, bringing a home-cooked meal... beyond the gifts we give at birth, many small gestures can make daily life and the management of depression easier;
3. Ensure your presence: in addition to small gestures, suggest outings (with the baby or not, depending on the possibilities), send messages... Isolation is one of the symptoms of depression: the goal is to remain present without being too insistent.

Last but not least, you can't force someone to seek treatment or care. Stay present while protecting yourself: supporting someone with depression (postpartum or not) can be very difficult to cope with personally.

And what about the fathers?

Just like new mothers, fathers can also suffer from postpartum depression. For example, during the first three months after giving birth, postpartum depression is present in approximately 8% of fathers, and this rate increases in the three to six months after the birth of the child.

Symptoms of Postpartum Depression in Fathers

However, young fathers' symptoms are less apparent than those of mothers, partly because they are not affected to the same extent by childbirth and hormonal fluctuations—two factors that aggravate postpartum depression in women. Fathers may tend to express their distress through anger, impatience, irritation, anxiety symptoms, domestic violence, and substance abuse.

Causes of Postpartum Depression in Fathers

Risk factors that can lead to postpartum depression in men include:

• History of depression: If your partner has already experienced depression, he is more likely to develop postpartum depression;
• Socio-economic context: as with women, precariousness can lead to postpartum depression in young fathers;
• Uncertain desire for a child: If your partner did not really want to become a father, it is possible that he will experience a setback after the birth of the baby and develop postpartum depression;
• Depression during pregnancy: For some new fathers, postnatal depression begins during pregnancy. In fact, half of fathers who are depressed during pregnancy are still depressed two months after giving birth.
• Postpartum depression in the partner: Fathers are more likely to develop depressive symptoms if their partner suffers from postpartum depression. That said, don't blame yourself if you're going through a difficult time yourself. Postpartum depression in fathers is also an aggravating factor in postpartum depression in mothers.

How to act?

If you suspect that your partner is suffering from postpartum depression or at least that they are going through a difficult time mentally, our first piece of advice would be to start by talking to them about it. Tell them how much you think they have changed, ask them what they need, try to understand their feelings... If they can be open, urge them to talk to a healthcare professional: talking to a general practitioner is a good first step to feeling better.

If, unfortunately, distress causes him to shut down, we can only recommend that you seek help . Managing your baby and your partner's mental health alongside your own mental health may prove complicated and burdensome for you: you must also protect yourself . Discuss your doubts with the health professionals who are following you – perhaps they can open the discussion with your partner – but also with his family and/or friends , depending on the relationship you share with them.

Don't hesitate to talk about the situation with your friends. They will be able to support and guide you. The first year with a baby can be difficult to manage personally and for the couple, but it is possible to overcome it with help.