How to get over postpartum depression?

Mental and physical fatigue, emotional and hormonal upheaval, stress, family pressures and influences, upheaval of the couple and each person's roles, stopping work... All the conditions are there for the postpartum period to represent a great upheaval. And for some new moms, and maybe you if you're reading this, it's too big an upset. Emotions mix and fade, stress takes over and fatigue invades you: everything seems gray, empty, uninteresting, exhausting. You may be one of the 10 to 20% of young mothers affected by postpartum depression. What it is, how to diagnose it and above all how to get out of it: we talk about it in this article.

Understanding Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression is a mental health disorder that affects between 10 and 20% of new mothers. It's even 1 in 20 women who have suicidal thoughts in the two months following birth according to the 2021 national perinatal survey.

This disorder combines the symptoms of depression – intense and unexplained sadness, emotional atony, sleep problems, negative beliefs and feelings of guilt, chronic stress and anxiety, even suicidal ideation – and the thoughts specific to being a young person. mother–loss of interest in the infant, depreciation of her maternal skills.

Postpartum depression generally appears after the sixth day and to qualify as “postpartum” it must appear before the sixth week postpartum.

✋ Young fathers can also suffer from postpartum depression. It is estimated that 8% of men are affected by this type of depression. In this article, we mainly dealt with postpartum depression in mothers because Gapianne primarily specialized in women's themes, but you will find a specific section dedicated to postpartum depression in young fathers.

What are the causes and risk factors?

As in the majority of mental health disorders, the causes are multifactorial. Several risk factors for developing postpartum depression have been identified. They belong to four families: psychiatric, socio-economic, obstetric and pathological factors.

Psychiatric factors

The first type of factors that can influence and lead to postpartum depression are psychiatric factors. They encompass all the different issues related to mental health preceding childbirth.

• Personal history of postpartum depression: If you previously had postpartum depression when one child was born, you are more likely to develop postpartum depression when another child is born;
• Mood disorders: if you experience mood disorders – variability, instability, irritability –, particularly around the time of your premenstrual syndrome, it is more likely that you will develop postpartum depression;
• Personal or family psychiatric history: If you, or people in your family, have experienced or are carriers of psychiatric disorders, it is more likely that you will be affected by postpartum depression. This is especially true if you went through a depressive episode or anxiety disorders during your pregnancy;
• Psychotrauma linked to childbirth: if you were shocked / injured / attacked during your childbirth (gynecological violence, unwanted emergency cesarean section, hemorrhages, childbirth that does not go as planned, etc.), you are more likely to develop postpartum depression. It is estimated that approximately 4-6% of women may experience post-traumatic stress disorder after a difficult birth and 20% experience some symptoms of post-traumatic stress causing them distress;
• Negative events during pregnancy: If you went through a family bereavement, a friendship or romantic breakup or other complicated events during pregnancy, you may experience an emotional setback after pregnancy and be affected by post-pregnancy depression. -partum;
• Perinatal bereavement: if you have experienced perinatal bereavement – ​​during this pregnancy or a previous one – you are more likely to be affected by postpartum depression. Women who have given birth to a stillborn baby are therefore at risk of depression in the three years following a perinatal loss ;
• Father's postpartum depression: if your partner is also going through an episode of postpartum depression when your child is born (yes, fathers can also be affected by postpartum depression, we talk about it below), he There is a greater risk that you will be affected as well. This can be explained in particular by the lack of support and listening that risks resulting from these disorders.

Socio-economic factors

The second type of factors that can affect your mental health and lead to postpartum depression are socio-economic factors. They bring together factors external to yourself, linked to the environment in which you operate.

• Marital and family conflicts: a climate of internal conflicts within the couple (tensions within the couple, intra-marital violence, etc.) or within the family (family pressures, presence or absence of families) can be the source of post-marital depression. partum;
• Social and family isolation: isolation (single mother, family estrangement, lack of support from partner and family, spouse working remotely, FOMO, difficulty continuing the previous social life with a young child, etc.) can also increase the risks of postpartum depression;
• Social insecurity: money does not buy happiness but lacking it can be complicated, especially with a little baby to whom we want to offer the best and who has important needs. Social and financial insecurity is also a risk factor for postpartum depression;
• Uncertain desire for a child, forced pregnancy and regrets: if you had doubts about having a child, it is possible that its arrival will bring these doubts to the forefront. You risk feeling trapped, stuck. The risks of postpartum depression are greater in this situation.

Obstetric factors

The third type of risk factor is obstetric – in other words, linked to the pregnancy itself and its progress.

• Unwanted pregnancy, denial of pregnancy: having carried an unwanted pregnancy to term (due to religious, moral, family, societal pressure or due to denial of pregnancy) is a significant risk factor for developing depression following the birth of a baby;
• Primiparity: being pregnant and giving birth to your first child increases the risk of developing depression after childbirth. This can be explained by the upheavals on the couple and on life caused by the arrival of a newborn;
• Obstetric history: death in utero, fetal malformation, termination of pregnancy, premature birth, etc. are all unfortunate events that can have repercussions on your mental health postpartum;
• Pathological pregnancy: if your pregnancy went poorly (threat of premature birth, high blood pressure, intrauterine growth retardation, gestational diabetes, etc.), you may have a greater risk of having postpartum depression;
• Neonatal morbidities: if you have experienced the death of a child before birth (parents who have gone through this type of bereavement are called marange and parange), this event can have consequences later, during the birth of another child ;
• Maternal age at the extremes of fertile periods: women who became mothers very early (teenage mothers) and those who became mothers late (over the age of forty) are more likely to develop depression in the period following childbirth.

Pathological factors

Fourth and final type of factors that can have effects and consequences on your risk of developing depression following the birth of an infant: pathological factors. Or in other words, illnesses that can impact your mental health following childbirth.

• Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS): Hormonal imbalances linked to PCOS appear to increase the risk of mood disorders such as postpartum depression. Women with PCOS are also more exposed to psychological stress. Find our article on PCOS and pregnancy to better understand the implications of this disease on pregnancy and postpartum, as well as our articles on the diagnosis of PCOS and the treatment of PCOS .

Know how to identify the symptoms of early postpartum depression

To help you identify postpartum depression and not let it take hold, we present to you in turn the symptoms of this mental health disorder and other psychiatric disorders linked to the postpartum period.

Symptoms of postpartum depression

Here are the 17 symptoms of postpartum depression that should alert you. If you identify them, at home or at the home of a loved one, do not hesitate to consult a health professional.

1. Constant physical and mental fatigue: is your postpartum fatigue “normal”? Are you able to fall asleep or are you prone to postpartum insomnia ?
2. Growing irritability
3. Deep sadness , sometimes unexplained
4. Uncontrollable crying
5. Strong feeling of guilt
6. Lack of self-confidence , constant devaluation, feeling of not being capable, feeling of being overwhelmed (which can lead to guilt, etc.)
7. Chronic anxiety about your baby
8. Difficulties interacting with your baby, feeling of helplessness: he doesn't understand you, that you don't understand him
9. Indifference for your baby , or even difficulty feeling love for him
10. Loss of interest in your favorite activities , disinterest in everything
11. Eating disorders (TCA), particularly motivated by the fear of gaining weight or maintaining pregnancy weight;
12. Lack of libido
13. Persistent pessimism
14. Progressive social isolation , motivated by the feeling of being alone and misunderstood, and by the fear of abandoning one's child
15. Perpetual ruminations
16. ⚠️ Suicidal thoughts: if you experience these types of thoughts, contact your doctor, your psychologist or the psychiatric emergency room in your area. They will be able to support you and help you get through this moment.

If some of these symptoms resonate with you and you experience them beyond twenty days (“normal” time for the baby blue linked to hormonal fluctuations), it is possible that you have postpartum depression. Talk to a healthcare professional.

Other postpartum mental health disorders

If postpartum depression is a psychiatric disorder linked to the postpartum period, it is not the only one. To help you identify it, here are the two other disorders associated with this period: baby blues and psychotic episode.

Baby blues or postpartum depression

The baby blues affects a majority of young mothers. This period describes the few days following childbirth during which the young mother sees her mood on edge: she cries “for nothing”, feels unexplained peaks of joy and sadness and goes from one to the other. other without transition, feels overwhelmed…

Generally caused by the significant hormonal variations surrounding the end of pregnancy and the fatigue generated by childbirth, the baby blue can last a few hours or a few days. The symptoms usually go away on their own. If symptoms last more than two weeks, it may be postpartum depression.

Thus, baby blues and postpartum depression are similar in substance: what differentiates them is above all the duration of postpartum depression compared to the baby blues.

Beyond postpartum depression: the psychotic episode

Another psychiatric disorder following pregnancy has unfortunately been highlighted by several serious news items: the psychotic episode.

Its symptoms are three in number: temporo-spatial disorientation , delusional activity essentially centered on the pregnancy (denial of pregnancy) or on the child (negation of the child, extraordinary parentage, etc.) and a great fluctuation of the mood .

The psychotic disorder occurs most often within four weeks after birth (with a peak frequency at ten days) in women without any psychiatric problems before pregnancy. It is more likely to occur in women who have already had a psychotic episode during a previous pregnancy. This disorder is rare: it affects 1 to 2 women who have given birth in 1,000.

The occurrence of a psychotic episode is a psychiatric emergency. Indeed, the risk of suicide or infanticide is significant.

What impact on mother and baby?

Given the different symptoms of postpartum depression, it obviously has an impact on the quality of life of the young mother, her relationship, and even on her child(ren). It can in fact alter the mother-baby bond and thus affect the baby's proper development.

However, children do not necessarily suffer from their mother's postpartum depression because some mothers still manage to remain “functional” in their role as mothers and thus take care of their child(ren) despite disease. Postpartum depression is therefore not synonymous with child abuse.

In the most extreme cases, postpartum depression can lead to suicidal thoughts, acting out (suicide attempts and suicide) or even infanticide.

How to prevent depression?

Given the multiplicity of factors that cause postpartum depression, it is difficult to propose a miracle solution to prevent this disorder. Indeed, too many factors do not directly depend on you to add this mental and psychological burden to you. Keep this in mind: you are in no way responsible for your depression (postpartum or not) ❤️

See a doctor

That being said, the best solution to prevent depression and limit its impact on your life, your relationship and your baby, is to talk about it from the moment you identify it and feel capable of doing so. Talk to a healthcare professional, your family and/or your friend. The more you avoid hiding behind the famous “I have everything to be happy” and quickly agree to ask for help , the more you will prevent depression from setting in and isolating you.

Did you know ? To better support young mothers in the weeks following birth, a postnatal interview is systematically offered. It can be carried out by a midwife or doctor between the fourth and eighth week after delivery.

If the symptoms listed above resonate with you and if you hesitate to contact someone, we advise you not to hesitate any longer: contact your GP, your midwife or a mental health professional . Share your doubts with them: they will be able to take care of you and support you.

What solutions and treatments?

For all the reasons mentioned above – symptoms and impact on the life of the mother, the couple and the child – it is essential to provide medical answers and treatments for your postpartum depression.

See a doctor

The first thing to do, as we highlighted just before, is to talk to a doctor about your feelings and difficulties. Your attending physician is fully capable of diagnosing postpartum depression, assessing its intensity and dangerousness, and providing initial treatments. He may, if necessary, recommend you to one of his psychologist or psychiatrist colleagues, based on his initial examination.

The diagnosis

The diagnosis of postpartum depression is made using a questionnaire, the questions being asked and analyzed by a general practitioner, a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Your answers to this questionnaire determine the intensity of depression and the risks you face as a result of your depression. In addition to making the diagnosis, it allows you to consider the treatments necessary for your care.

Treatments

If a healthy lifestyle (sleeping correctly, eating a balanced diet, drinking plenty of fluids, resuming appropriate physical activity) and family support are the first solutions to help your reconstruction after the diagnosis of postpartum depression, they are not not sufficient.

The treatments and actions most often recommended to support a person affected by postpartum depression are:

• Psychotherapy: Individual therapy, group therapy, or family therapy may be recommended. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is often used to help the person recognize and change negative thoughts and behaviors that contribute to depression;
• Medications: In some cases, antidepressants may be prescribed to treat postpartum depression. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are often used because of their effectiveness and safety during breastfeeding;
• Baby Care Education and Support: Learning infant care skills and strategies for managing the stress of parenting can help improve the mother's overall well-being and reduce symptoms of depression.
• Food supplements: Food supplements should under no circumstances be used in place of treatment and require the advice of a doctor when they are taken at the same time as treatment to limit drug interactions.

How to take care of your mental health after giving birth?

The period following the birth of a child, whether it is the first or not, is always an upheaval. Emotional, physical, relational. Not to mention the schedule and habits that are shattered. The whole of life is reworked and mental health sometimes comes after the rest, after the obligatory. However, it is essential to take care of your mental health after giving birth. Here are some ideas to help you reconnect with yourself, your partner and your life after giving birth.

Accept to grope

In the months following childbirth, you will fumble. You will fumble with your baby (what does he want?, why does he cry?, what does he like?, how do you put on a diaper?), you will fumble with your partner (what distribution, who takes care of what, how?), you will fumble with your parenting (what education?),... not to mention the gaze of others and the judgment you will receive.

This is why our first tip to protect yourself and your mental health would be to accept as quickly as possible that you are not going to be perfect . Your relationship will not be perfect, your spouse will not be perfect, your parenting will not be perfect. And that's okay. All you have to do is convince yourself 😉

Listen to yourself and follow your pace

Whether in matters of parenting, as a couple or about your own health, the best solution is to listen to yourself. There will be no shortage of advice and reasons for comparison: move forward at your own pace, according to your intuitions and desires. You know what is good for you, your child and your relationship. Trust yourself.

Join a support group or consult a psychologist

Whether or not you suffer from postpartum depression, joining a support group for young mothers/parents or consulting a psychologist can be an important step in promoting your good mental health. It is never too early or too late to start following up or talking: this can only do you good and allow you to anticipate the next obstacles to come.

Sort out content that hurts you

Social networks are ambivalent. A source of inspiration and motivation, they can become, overnight, a source of anxiety and guilt.

If certain content hurts you (notably accounts relating to current affairs, appearance (fitness, make-up) and maternity), do not hesitate to unsubscribe and stop following them while you felt better and more at peace with them. There's nothing wrong with spending your free time on things that make you feel good.

Make time to practice what you used to love

Did you play sports, paint, go out with friends before pregnancy and the arrival of your baby? We can only recommend that you do not abandon these activities after childbirth and the first months of your child. Of course, listen to yourself and your desires – it's not about forcing yourself and you will leave your baby when you know the right time is right: ask your partner to take care of him or one of your loved ones who you trust. But these moments “just for you” are a good way to reconnect with who you are and who you were before becoming a mother. This is essential to allow you to combine your life as a mother with who you are.

Reclaim your body

In addition to being a special time during which you learn a new family balance and meet a new human being, the postpartum period is also synonymous with rediscovery of your body. Pregnancy and childbirth have left their mark (extra pounds, scars, pain) and the successive waves of hormones have turned everything upside down in their path. Reclaiming your body can be an important step in your reconstruction.

• 🌈 We love Talm's nourishing postpartum care and massage oil to offer relaxation and softness to your body. As a bonus: it contains sweet almond oil, the property of which is to fade stretch marks;

• 🌈 And for even more hydration, we offer you Talm's postpartum moisturizing balm . It will deeply nourish and hydrate to avoid the feeling of tight skin!

• 🌈 Still at Talm, we have selected reusable concealer patches to put in the fridge. It's eco-friendly and allows you to deflate the bags that emphasize your tired eyes!

Take quality time with your family

Family time, with your partner and your baby, is essential for learning to live together. Eating together, bathing together, playing together, going out together: these moments are important in shaping your family ❤️. The more qualitative and pleasant these moments are, the more pleasant your experience of motherhood will be and your mental health will be positive. (And no pressure if sometimes these moments are not great: you have the right to be tired sometimes! It will be better tomorrow.)

Take some quality time as a couple

Finally, moments shared within the couple are essential. Little by little, find the activities that you liked to do together, both of you or with your loved ones and friends – going out to the cinema, playing sports, entertaining… These moments also contribute to the balance of your life and your mental health.

The importance of family support

If postpartum depression is not only linked to a lack of support from your partner, your family and that of your partner, their support is a great response to provide against the illness. Indeed, the more you know that you can rely on them, and the more they will show their presence at your side, the quicker you will be able to get your head above water.

How to help someone with postpartum depression

If you are working alongside someone affected by postpartum depression today – whether they are your partner, your daughter, your sister, your friend – here are some ways to help them:

1. Talk to her: if she is not yet diagnosed but you perceive growing distress in her, do not hesitate to communicate your doubts to her. If she is open on the subject, suggest that she discuss it with a health professional (general practitioner, midwife or psychologist). If she appears more closed off, talk to the people around her to get their opinion;
2. Offer your help: do the cleaning, look after the baby for a few hours for a nap or a medical appointment, bring a home-cooked meal... beyond the gifts we give at birth, lots of little ones gestures can make daily life and the management of depression easier;
3. Ensure your presence: in addition to small gestures, suggest outings (with the baby or not, depending on possibilities), send messages... Isolation is one of the symptoms of depression: the goal is to stay present ( e) without being too insistent.

Last but not least: you cannot force someone to seek treatment or care. Stay present while also protecting yourself: supporting someone with depression (postpartum or not) can be very difficult to cope with personally.

What about fathers?

Just like new mothers, dads can also suffer from postpartum depression. Thus, during the first three months following childbirth, postpartum depression is present in approximately 8% of fathers, and this rate increases in the three to six months after the birth of the child.

Symptoms of Postpartum Depression in Fathers

The symptoms of young fathers are, however, less apparent than those presented by mothers, in particular because they are not affected in the same way by childbirth and hormonal variations – two aggravating factors of postpartum depression in women. Fathers may tend to express their distress through anger, impatience, irritation, anxiety symptoms, domestic violence, and substance abuse.

Causes of postpartum depression in fathers

Among the risk factors that can lead to postpartum depression in men:

• History of depression: if your partner has already experienced depression, he or she is more likely to develop postpartum depression;
• Socio-economic context: as with women, insecurity can lead to postpartum depression in young fathers;
• Uncertain desire for a child: if your partner did not really want to become a father, it is possible that he will experience a setback when the baby is born and that he will develop postpartum depression;
• Depressive state during pregnancy: in some young fathers, postnatal depression begins during pregnancy. In fact, half of fathers who are depressed during pregnancy would still be depressed two months after giving birth.
• Spouse's postpartum depression: Fathers are more likely to develop depressive symptoms if their partner suffers from postpartum depression. That being said, don't feel responsible if you yourself are going through a difficult period. Fathers' postpartum depression is also an aggravating factor in mothers' postpartum depression.

How to act?

If you suspect that your partner is suffering from postpartum depression or at least going through a bad patch in terms of mental health, our first advice would be to start by talking to them about it. Tell him how much you think he has changed, ask him what he needs, try to understand his feelings... If he manages to be open, encourage him to talk to a health professional: discuss with a general practitioner is a good first step towards getting better.

If unfortunately distress causes it to close, we can only recommend that you seek help . Managing your baby and your partner's mental health along with your own mental health may be complicated and burdensome for you: you also need to protect yourself . Talk about your doubts to the health professionals who follow you – perhaps they will be able to open the discussion with your partner – but also with their family and/or friends , depending on the relationships you share with them.

Do not hesitate, at the same time, to talk about the situation with your friends. They will be able to support and accompany you. The first year with a baby can be complicated to manage personally and for the couple, but it is possible to overcome it with help.