Female solitary pleasure: taboos, first time, sex toys, let’s talk about it!

Female sexuality, and even more so, female masturbation, is still very much a taboo subject. However, female solitary pleasure is a way to let go, to treat yourself, to get to know your body, and to explore your fantasies without judgment or guilt. As an e-concept store dedicated to intimacy and female sexuality, Gapianne had to address the topic of female solitary pleasure. In this article, we break down taboos and give you ideas for giving yourself pleasure.

Female solitary pleasure: you are normal!

Female masturbation is still a taboo subject. When the subject is brought up, it's often laughed off, with a touch of embarrassment. For example, in 2022, during her appearance on the show "Who Wants to Become My Partner," the sex toy brand Puissante Créatrice, with which Gapianne works, generated a fair amount of laughter from the panel.

So why this taboo? Because many still assume that women have lower “sexual needs” than men. Which is completely false. While society is much more vocal about men's supposed sexual needs, particularly with the term “sexual misery” associated with those who can't have relationships the way they want, women also have needs and desires. Some women, for example, want to make love several times a day!

Masturbation is practiced by 65% ​​of women

Faced with these needs, many women choose solitary pleasure. Female masturbation has become more widespread since the 2010s, particularly with the marketing of the first sex toys dedicated to solitary female sexuality. Today, various studies show that more than 65% of French women masturbate , and this, on average 48 times per year . And this, whether they are in a relationship or single ( 13% of women in a relationship and 15% of single women caress themselves once a week ).

In other words: if you like to masturbate, once in a while or several times a week, you're normal! And if you don't feel like it? Well, that's normal too. On the one hand, sexual needs in menstruating people can vary depending on their menstrual cycle. Furthermore, contraception, fatigue, stress, or medication can impact libido. On the other hand, some people (men or women) may be asexual and feel no sexual desire. All of these situations are normal and okay, as long as they suit you.

Why masturbate as a woman?

With this in mind, let's also remember that masturbation is not only good for your health (yes, yes!) but also excellent for discovering your body and better enjoying sexuality as a couple.

It's good for your health!

Contrary to various preconceived ideas, particularly those from the Catholic religion which condemns male and female masturbation, the practice of solitary pleasure is good for one's health.

So, even solo, sexual practice and orgasm release pleasure hormones (dopamine and endorphin) that are positive for the body. They contribute to stress reduction, improving the quality of deep sleep, and maintaining good cardiac condition. We love it! ♥️

It can limit period pain!

What's more, masturbation during your period is beneficial. Beyond producing pleasure hormones that can alleviate the pain and stress felt during this time, the uterine and vaginal contractions that occur during orgasm can help shorten your period. That's right: blood flows faster and periods last less! 🩸

This allows you to better experience your sexuality as a couple.

Finally, masturbation has the enormous virtue of helping you discover your body (erogenous zones, your clitoris, your vagina, your anus) and explore your fantasies. In addition to bringing you pleasure, knowing your body and knowing what is likely to excite you will allow you to guide your partner and build your sexuality with him.

We add here that you can also consider masturbation as a couple, as a couple, each on their own, or together: we'll talk about that a little later!

Having fun alone for the first time: how to get started?

Have you never touched yourself and want to give it a try? Here are some tips to get you started. 🫶

The best conditions for enjoying yourself alone

1. Being alone: ​​While you can masturbate as a couple, with your partner, we recommend that you have this first experience alone—even if you are in a relationship. This will allow you to do only what you want to do;

2. Get comfortable: Your bed is probably the best place to touch yourself for the first time. If you don't feel completely comfortable, especially for hygiene reasons, try it during your bath or shower 🛁.

3. With impeccable hygiene: This may seem obvious, but it's worth mentioning here: practice good hygiene for your hands and intimate areas before giving yourself pleasure. You'll be much more comfortable this way, and you'll avoid disrupting your intimate flora with external bacteria.

4. Naked or in your underwear: While we don't recommend being fully clothed when you first touch yourself, it's not necessary to be completely naked either. If it's your first time, you might even feel uncomfortable being naked. Do what you're comfortable with. You can also be naked under your covers if you're touching yourself in bed.

Different ways to treat yourself

While porn is a favorite among men when it comes to masturbation, women generally masturbate to erotic scenarios and sex toys. It's up to you to decide what you like best.

• Exploring your fantasies: The first way to give yourself pleasure is to explore your fantasies. To do this, nothing could be simpler: imagine several erotic scenarios and see what pleases you. This can range from the most “simple” (sexual relations with a person you like) to the most adventurous (with several people, forbidden practices, etc.), including various practices that you practice “for real” or not (BDSM, anal sex, etc.). You don’t need to fulfill a fantasy for it to give you pleasure alone—and just because you like something in fantasy doesn’t mean you’ll like it in real life.

• View erotic/porn content: Beyond porn movies (feminist or not), there are various erotic and porn content that can help you sharpen your fantasies. This is the case with erotic podcasts , erotic novels, etc.

• Touching yourself, caressing yourself with your fingers: Female masturbation is often reduced to the practice of digital penetration (the act of fingering yourself). And yet, this is far from representing all practices and habits. On the one hand, because caresses do not have to be limited to your vulva: we can only recommend that you explore the erogenous zones of your body (inner arms and thighs, nipples, neck, feet)! On the other hand, because vaginal penetration alone does not represent all the practices that you can have on your vulva. Stimulating your clitoris (hood and interior) can be done without fingering yourself. As for penetration, you can use one or more fingers, depending on your preferences!

• Masturbating with a sex toy: The last option for solo pleasure is sex toys. Many women use them to caress themselves (more than 30% masturbate with sex toys, compared to less than 10% of men). However, when first discovering masturbation, we don't necessarily recommend sex toys: it's better to have an idea of ​​what you enjoy before you start!

Female solitary pleasure: what if you tried sex toys!

You already know your body well and enjoy solo sex (or masturbation with a partner). What if you tried new experiences with sex toys ?

If you're more into clitoral stimulation, we highly recommend looking into clitoral vacuums. Equipped with a small mouth and pulsating air technology, clitoral stimulators sit on the hood of your clitoris to tease it.

🌈 At Gapianne, our preference goes, without any hesitation, to the Lelo Sila clitoral stimulator. Topped with a small mouth to place on your clitoris, it bombards it with pulsating air to stimulate it. Waterproof, it will accompany you in the shower or in your bath without worry. It is equipped with a rechargeable battery for ever more renewed pleasure!

I want the Lelo Sila >

If you prefer the pleasures of penetration, vaginal and/or anal, turn to vibrators instead. They come in different shapes and sizes. In addition to penetration, you can also position it to tickle your clitoris or erogenous zones. The only thing to keep in mind is that you should never switch from anal to vaginal penetration, to avoid upsetting your vaginal flora. If this is your desire, it's possible: wash the vibrator, or use a condom for anal penetration.

🌈 If you're new to vibrators, we highly recommend the Smile Makers brand vibrator, The Billionaire . We recommend it for beginners because of its very narrow shape that allows you to test it in vaginal and anal penetration and its limited number of speeds (4 speeds and 2 pulsation modes). Made of soft touch surgical silicone, it's incredibly soft and easy to clean. As a bonus, we love its bright color that makes it a pretty object!

I want The Billionaire by Smile Makers >

And to find out even more about the sex toys offered at Gapianne, we highly recommend that you take part in the Vibro Quiz : a great way to find the sex toy that's right for you and your lifestyle.