Female solitary pleasure: taboos, first time, sex toys, let’s talk about it!

Female sexuality and, even more so, female masturbation, is still very taboo. However, female solitary pleasure is at the same time a way to let go, to do yourself good, to know your body and to explore your fantasies without judgment or guilt. As an e-concept store dedicated to intimacy and female sexuality, Gapianne had to address the subject of female solitary pleasure. In this article, we break down taboos and give you some ideas to give yourself pleasure.

Female Solitary Pleasure: You're Normal!

Female masturbation is still a taboo subject. When the subject is brought up, we laugh about it covertly, with a little embarrassment. For example, in 2022, during her appearance on the show Qui veut devenir mon associés, the brand Puissante créatrice de sextoy, with which Gapianne works, had thus created a good number of laughs from the jury.

So why this taboo? Because many still assume that women have lower “sexual needs” than men. Which is completely false. While society is much more vocal about the supposed sexual needs of men, particularly with the expression “sexual misery” associated with those who cannot have relationships as they wish, women also have needs and desires. Some women want to make love several times a day!

Masturbation is practiced by 65% ​​of women

Faced with these needs, many women choose solitary pleasure. Female masturbation has become more popular since the 2010s, particularly with the marketing of the first sex toys dedicated to solitary female sexuality. Today, various studies show that more than 65% of French women masturbate , and this, on average 48 times per year . And this, whether they are in a relationship or single ( 13% of women in a relationship and 15% of single women caress themselves once a week ).

In other words: if you like to masturbate, once in a while or several times a week, you are normal! And if you don't feel like it? Well, that's normal too. On the one hand, sexual needs, in menstruating people, can vary according to their menstrual cycle. Even more, contraception, fatigue, stress or medication can impact libido. On the other hand, some people (men or women) can be asexual and feel no sexual desire. All these situations are normal and ok, as long as they suit you.

Why masturbate as a woman?

With this in mind, let's also remember that masturbation is not only good for your health (yes, yes!) but also excellent for discovering your body and better enjoying sexuality as a couple.

It's good for your health!

Contrary to various preconceived ideas, particularly those from the Catholic religion which condemns male and female masturbation, the practice of solitary pleasure is good for health.

So, even solo, sexual practice and orgasm release pleasure hormones (dopamine and endorphin) that are positive for the body. They contribute to reducing stress, improving the quality of deep sleep, or even maintaining the cardiac system in good condition. We love it! ♥️

It can reduce period pain!

What's more, masturbation during your period is beneficial. Beyond producing pleasure hormones that can alleviate the pain and stress felt during this period, the contractions of the uterus and vagina that occur during orgasm can help shorten the duration of your period. Yes, yes: blood flows faster and periods last less time! 🩸

This allows you to better experience your sexuality as a couple.

Finally, masturbation has the enormous virtue of helping you discover your body (erogenous zones, your clitoris, your vagina, your anus) and explore your fantasies. In addition to bringing you pleasure, knowing your body and knowing what is likely to excite you will allow you to guide your partner and build your sexuality with him.

We add here that you can also consider masturbation as a couple, as a pair, each on their own, or together: we'll talk about that a little later!

Having fun alone for the first time: how to get started?

Have you never caressed yourself and want to try it? Here are some tips to get you started. 🫶

The best conditions for enjoying yourself solo

1. Being alone: ​​if you can masturbate as a couple, with your partner, we recommend that you have this first experience alone – even if you are in a relationship. This will allow you to do only what you want to do;

2. Sit comfortably: your bed is definitely the best place to touch yourself for the first time. If you don't feel completely comfortable, especially for hygiene reasons, try it during your bath or shower 🛁.

3. With impeccable hygiene: this will certainly seem obvious to you, but I might as well slip it in here: promote good hygiene, of your hands and your private parts before giving yourself pleasure. You will be much more comfortable this way and you will avoid unbalancing your intimate flora with external bacteria.

4. Naked or in your underwear: While we don't recommend being fully clothed when you're first touching yourself, you don't have to be completely naked either. If it's your first time, you might even be uncomfortable being naked. Do what makes you comfortable. You can also be naked under your covers if you're touching yourself in bed.

Different ways to please yourself

While porn is popular among men when it comes to masturbating, women usually masturbate with erotic scenarios and sex toys. It's up to you to see what you like best.

• Exploring your fantasies: The first way to give yourself pleasure is to explore your fantasies. To do this, nothing could be simpler: imagine several erotic scenarios and see what pleases you. This can range from the most “simple” (sexual intercourse with a person you like) to the most adventurous (with several people, forbidden practices, etc.) through various practices that you practice “for real” or not (BDSM, sodomy, etc.). You don’t need to realize a fantasy for it to give you pleasure solo–and it’s not because you like something in fantasy that you will like it in real life.

• View erotic/porn content: Beyond porn movies (feminist or not), there are different erotic and porn content that can help you sharpen your fantasies. This is the case of erotic podcasts , erotic novels, etc.

• Touching yourself, caressing yourself with your fingers: Female masturbation is often reduced to the practice of digital penetration (the act of fingering yourself). And yet, this is far from representing all practices and habits. On the one hand, because caresses do not have to be limited to your vulva: we can only recommend that you explore the erogenous zones of your body (inner arms and thighs, nipples, neck, feet)! On the other hand, because vaginal penetration alone does not represent all the practices that you can have on your vulva. Stimulating your clitoris (hood and interior) can be done without fingering yourself. As for penetration, you can use one or more fingers, depending on your preferences!

• Masturbating with a sex toy: The last option to give yourself pleasure alone, sex toys. Many women use them to caress themselves (more than 30% masturbate with sex toys, compared to less than 10% of men). However, when first discovering masturbation, we do not necessarily recommend sex toys: it is better to have an idea of ​​what you like before you start!

Female solitary pleasure: what if you tried sex toys!

You already know your body well and enjoy your solo sexuality (or masturbation as a couple). What if you tried new experiences with sex toys ?

If you're more into clitoral stimulation, we highly recommend checking out clitoral vacuums. Equipped with a small mouth and air-pulsing technology, clitoral stimulators sit on the hood of your clitoris to tease it.

🌈 At Gapianne, our preference goes, without any hesitation, to the Sila clitoral stimulator from Lelo . Topped with a small mouth to place on your clitoris, it bombards it with pulsed air to stimulate it. Waterproof, it will accompany you in the shower or in your bath without worry. It is equipped with a rechargeable battery for ever more renewed pleasure!

I want the Lelo Sila >

If you prefer the pleasure of penetration, vaginal and/or anal, turn instead to vibrators. They come in different shapes and sizes. In addition to penetration, you can also position it in such a way as to titillate your clitoris or your erogenous zones. The only thing to keep in mind is that you should never switch from anal penetration to vaginal penetration, to avoid unbalancing your vaginal flora. If this is what you want, it is possible: wash the vibrator, or use a condom for anal penetration.

🌈 If you are new to vibrators, we can only recommend the Smile Makers brand vibrator, The billionaire . We recommend it for beginners because of its very narrow shape which allows you to test it in vaginal and anal penetration and its reduced number of speeds (4 speeds and 2 pulsation modes). Made of soft touch surgical silicone, it is incredibly soft and easy to clean. As a bonus, we love its pep's color which makes it a pretty object!

I want The Billionaire by Smile Makers >

And to find out even more about the sex toys offered at Gapianne, we can only recommend that you take part in the Vibro Quiz : a good way to find the sex toy suited to your pleasure and your practices.