The many facets of orgasm
Jess, Clem and the girls of Collectif Junon thrill Paris with their program of feminist and eclectic events, their eponymous blog since 2015 deconstructs the preconceived patterns of sexuality of our time. If you open your eyes, you may have seen Clem on his blue Pussyclette delivering their brilliant magazine Hysterique to the four corners of Paris. Gapianne joins forces with Junon to present a selection of subjects that have been swept away by the collective, and of coursethe number 2 of Hysterique is available for sale here , good reading!
I came across an article from Le Parisien, stunning with all these figures and diaphragms, heuuu, diagrams on “the female orgasm”… Suddenly, I decided to deepen their article. Orgasm is the climax of a coitus or other sexual practice. But how is such a phenomenon possible? Why do “women” find it more difficult to reach it? We put the basics back and we start.
First orgasm? What is it exactly ?
It is a concept that we know and that we may have already experienced, but which however remains hard to define. To simplify, we could say that it is a psychological and physical response that takes place at the peak of the sexual arousal phase. This is called extreme enjoyment which lasts about 6 seconds for penis holders and 20 seconds for vulva holders.
Orgasm results in the majority of cases and in general by the ejaculation of the penis / and by a muscular contraction of the perineum and retraction of the clitoris .
The stimulation of the different erogenous parts and the psychological stimulation during the act will therefore provoke many bodily reactions:
- muscle movement,
- An increase in heart rate and breathing,
- dilation of the pupils,
- Vocalization (when you make a little too much noise for the neighbors),
- facial spasm,
- Release of sexual tension.
During orgasm, two proteins are released in the brain: oxytocin and prolactin , which will give this impression of deep well-being. This is what will in particular create this desire for persistent sexual activity.
At the psychological level, orgasm also causes an inhibition of the senses (next time, you will try to smell the smell of grease left by the preparation of dinner and you will see that I am right), but also a well- be extreme as well as an appeasement and relaxation of your whole body.
In addition to all these reactions, you should know that for people who have a clitoris, it gets erect, your labia minora swell, become darker and more sensitive. Your vagina shrinks in size and fills with blood. And finally, the muscle in your uterus contracts.
This phenomenon, although perpetrated since the dawn of time, was only studied scientifically from the 60s by William Master and Virginia Johnson (We strongly recommend the eponymous series). In short, their studies focus on sexuality and in particular on orgasm during sexual intercourse or masturbation.
They deduce from their analyzes 4 phases of the sexual response including orgasm:
- Excitement : increase in pleasure by stimuli (especially the clitoris),
- The plateau is the constant excitement throughout the report.
- Orgasm , which is the rise of pleasure with a contraction of the muscles.
- Resolution is when the mind and body come back to rest.
Contrary to popular misconception that separates women into two groups, clitoral and vaginal, William and Virginia's scientific tests and experiments show that, in reality, we are all clitoral. Indeed, vaginal orgasm is caused by indirect stimulation of the clitoris by movement and the short distance between these two organs. In reality, there is ONE orgasm, but multiple ways to achieve it.
And after the orgasm?
After the effort, the comfort, after the orgasm, the post-orgasm. And yes, after orgasm, the body begins its resolution phase: a so-called refractory period which lasts from 5 minutes for women to 20 minutes for men, this is actually the time the body will take to return to normal. rest, which may include a period of sleep.
The body can also completely let go of you by letting your tears flow. Crying is common after a great moment of pleasure. This is due to the sudden drop in sexual tension and the various hormones produced during the act. It is therefore normal to feel different emotions after an orgasm.
Whether it's a feeling of fullness due to endorphins, sadness or longing due to hormones, or the negative feeling of failure, which is a fear that everyone feels this fear of not fulfilling the other (while frankly, if you had the feeling, it's that the other person got off too).
But why do cis women find it harder to reach orgasm in general?
I found different answers, especially in the book "The Revolution of Female Pleasure - Sexuality and Orgasm" by Elisa Brune and also in many articles by sexologists, psychologists, blablatologist, in short, here are some answers:
- First, it happens that by their education, women know their bodies poorly. Many women have never explored their bodies, never masturbated. Knowing your body, your sensations, what you like, what you want, knowing how to give yourself pleasure alone is a key to giving and receiving pleasure to two.
- Second, the partner may misunderstand the other body. I had the chance to read this comment today: “There are no frigid women, there are only bad lovers” it made me laugh. We've all already had this thought after a bit of a lousy sexual encounter: "Well, he.she couldn't find my clit..." "He.she doesn't know how to use it, it still hurts" "He .she didn't even search…” So please go to Google, type “clitoris” and see where it is. Once located, ask your partner to take 5 minutes to show you what she would like you to do with it, because after these 5 minutes, this practice is for life.
- Third, stop the race to orgasm. We have entered a performance phase, orgasm at all costs, in all reports... Women are often pushed, by the stereotypes of these damn magazines, to GIVE their partner an orgasm... Which often leads them to think that if they can't give it to him, it's a failure. The woman then starts hunting for her partner's orgasm without paying attention to her own pleasure. However, pleasing yourself, a selfish pleasure, without restraint (but always with consent of course) is the key to pleasure for two, don't you think? And then if you don't reach orgasm every time, it doesn't matter! As long as we feel pleasure, desire and feel fulfilled, right?
- Fourth, the loss of libido due to contraceptives, vaginismus, sexual disorders, excision, rape, trauma... 15% of French women are today affected by vaginismus. In 2004, 53,000 women residing in France were "registered" circumcised. 75,000 rapes per year are said to be committed in France. So many women who are injured, tortured, traumatized or who just have a few temporary problems. It influences all these numbers a lot.
In conclusion, I just prefer to give you a little grandmother's recipe to get rid of your persistent hiccups: orgasm. With that I leave you, I'm off to explore.
Article written by the Junon collective and relayed by Gapianne as part of a collaboration
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